The urn starts on the mantel. Then it moves to the closet. That's how Robert Seelig describes it, and he'd know. He runs a program that buries cremated remains for free. About 26% of American households keep a loved one's ashes at home, by a 2022 industry study. They've held them more than 6½ years on average. Many have no plan for where the ashes go next.
Faith Bottum wrote Friday's Houses of Worship column in the Journal, ahead of All Souls Day on Nov. 2. Her numbers tell the story. The National Funeral Directors Association says 63.4% of Americans who died in 2025 were cremated. It expects 82.3% by 2045. Only 20% to 40% of cremated remains end up buried or placed in a cemetery, by the Cremation Association of North America's count. The number of funeral homes dropped about 13% from 2004 to 2021. The National Catholic Register counts 30.3% fewer Catholic funerals in 2024 than in 2001, even though the number of Catholics rose 9.3%.
Seelig is the CEO of Alba Ministries. His All Souls Remembrance Program places cremated remains in a cemetery at no cost, and it's open to people of every faith. He puts the count at about 20,000 over the past 10 years. "They start maybe on the mantel and move their way to the closet," he told Bottum. He sees families who keep remains at home carry a weight. A ritual at a real place, he says, brings them a lot of closure.
The question gets handed down
Bottum isn't arguing against cremation. The Catholic Church accepts it as legitimate. Her worry is the drift away from any lasting place at all. With fewer burials, cemeteries sell fewer plots and headstones and take in less money for upkeep. Seelig thinks new cemeteries will still open, but they may look and feel different. Think columbaries, which are walls of niches for urns. Think mausoleums, indoor memorial rooms and QR codes on a marker that open a person's photos and videos. Some faiths don't cremate at all. Islam is one, and Muslims bury. We aren't here to settle the theology. We're here about the paperwork, because every tradition has a decision to write down.
Our read
Estate planning. Final arrangements belong in the estate plan, and they're the page many families skip. The will says who gets the house. It rarely says burial or cremation, which cemetery, or who decides. A will is also often read after the funeral, so wishes tucked inside it can come too late. That's how the choice lands on a grieving son or daughter at the worst possible moment. Sometimes the box lands in a closet. Cost belongs on that page too. A plot and headstone, a niche in a columbarium, or a free program like Seelig's are very different bills. Write down what you want, what it costs and who signs.
Here's the check this week. Open your estate file and look for one page on final arrangements. If it isn't there, write it. Name burial or cremation, the place, the rough cost and the person who carries it out. Give that person a copy now, outside the will, so they see it in time. If your faith has a rule, as Islam does on burial, write that down so nobody has to guess. If there's an urn in your own closet right now, that page is where its plan starts. Pick the place before a funeral director has to ask. Bring the page to your next review and we'll file it with the rest.