The most enjoyable column in Friday’s Journal is “In the Trenches,” in which Robyn A. Friedman lets estate agents describe the single feature a buyer would not compromise on. This week produced a urinal, a creek and a privacy requirement that defeated the geography of South Florida.
The urinal
Dawn Lanier, a Coldwell Banker agent in Austin, was working with a couple who had switched from hunting for an existing home to building new. When she had asked which features they wanted, they mentioned nothing unusual. Then they toured a model home with two separate water closets in the primary bathroom, and the husband said: “I’ve always wanted a urinal, and since we have two separate water closets, I want one in mine.”
His wife looked at him and said, “That is crazy.” He explained that his friend has one and he has always envied it. Everyone turned red.
The builder said he would have to select a model and pay additional plumbing charges to install it instead of a regular toilet. The wife relented. They signed a contract for a new home just under $1 million, and the husband did the research to work out which urinal he wanted.
Then they decided against new construction and bought a resale property. No urinal. “We still laugh about his request to this day,” Lanier said. In fifteen years of practice and thousands of homes — bidets, yes; urinal, never — and there is no way to search for one in the multiple-listing service anyway.
The creek
Chloe Powell of Hunt Country Sotheby’s in Leesburg, Virginia, has spent about a year with buyers whose must-have is beautifully simple and almost impossible: a creek for their English springer spaniel, Brissy. A pond won’t do — stagnant water is a concern — so it has to be natural, flowing water.
What followed was not a typical home search. Powell went through MLS archives back nearly thirty years to identify patterns of where creeks exist and how those properties traded. She cold-called homeowners, chased off-market listings, and sent targeted postcards to homes positioned along known creek lines. Then every candidate had to be checked to confirm it wasn’t in a flood zone.
“The goal wasn’t just to find a creek,” she said. “It was to find the right creek.” They have toured about ten homes from $1 million to $3.5 million and written a few offers. The sellers wouldn’t agree on price. The search continues.
The pool
Liz Ciborowski of Douglas Elliman in Fort Lauderdale had a couple who wanted a waterfront home between $3 million and $5 million with the primary bedroom facing a canal — and a pool deck that was 100% private, for skinny-dipping parties.
She had to give them a reality check. “In Fort Lauderdale, your backyard is like a public runway. If you have a view of the water, it is likely that every boater and yacht owner has a front-row seat to your pool.” After about ten houses they compromised: a four-bedroom home on a large corner lot, not on the water, with a resort-style pool surrounded by gates and very high hedges. Completely private.
Our read
Notice what happened in all three. Every buyer knew precisely what they wanted, which is more than most buyers manage. And in two of the three cases the non-negotiable was, in the end, negotiated — not because they gave up, but because the search revealed what the requirement was actually for.
The Fort Lauderdale couple wanted privacy and thought they wanted waterfront. Those turned out to be in direct conflict, and once that was named, the answer was obvious and cheaper. The Austin husband wanted a urinal and, one suspects, wanted a new-build; when the new-build went, so did the urinal, without much mourning. Only the spaniel’s creek has survived contact with the market, and that search is still running after a year.
This is the most useful thing a good adviser of any kind does, and it has nothing to do with markets. A stated requirement is usually a proposed solution wearing a costume. “I want to retire at 62” is frequently “I want to stop doing this particular job.” “I want to pay off the mortgage early” is frequently “I want to feel less exposed.” “I want to beat the index” is almost always “I want to know I’m not being taken advantage of.” Each of those has a cheaper, better answer than the one requested — but only after somebody asks the second question.
When we sit down, we start with what you actually want rather than what you’ve asked for. It takes about a quarter of an hour and, so far, has never involved a urinal.